Time
by Miss Peg
Summary: Jane and Lisbon's relationship changes, but when something happens that neither of them expected, will it bring them together or tear them apart?
1. Chapter 1

**Time**  
**Author: **Miss_Peg  
**Word Count: **14,233  
**Rating: **T (there are 2 very brief incidents of swearing)  
**Summary: **Jane and Lisbon's relationship changes, but when something happens that neither of them expected, will it bring them together or tear them apart?  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own The Mentalist, but I did create a couple of random characters.  
**Notes: **Alternate future following on from episode 5x01. Written for The Mentalist Big Bang over on LiveJournal. Thank you first and foremost to my lovely artists, I've not seen all of the art just yet but I'm very excited to see what you've both created for me.

This story is a rather delayed Stocking Swap fic (over on Paint It Red) for tromana. The idea came to me then and it was a little too big for me to handle at the time. I hope it was worth the wait.

**Chapter One**

Time passed by quicker than Teresa Lisbon had ever intended it to. Since the death of her father she'd gone to college, become a police officer and sky rocketed up her career of choice. Of course, it hadn't all happened in a couple of weeks or years, it had taken twenty. Sometimes she forgot how old she really was, that the lines around her eyes were wrinkles and not something more youthful. She'd barely scratched the surface of the lifelong ambitions that she'd had as a child; a career, marriage, children, travelling, she hadn't had the time. Or she hadn't _made_ the time, as was a more accurate description.

As a young girl Lisbon had expected that everything would fall into place, that fairytales happened and women could have both a family and a job. Then her mother died, her father spiralled out of control and her whole world was rocked by his suicide. Time became nothing more than someone else's property. She lived only for her brothers and when they went off to school; her time belonged to the state of Illinois.

She didn't despise the time she'd spent living out her dreams of a career in the police, on the contrary, she'd enjoyed each and every moment. The only expense was the rest of her hopes, the things she didn't get to do because she had been too busy working towards that glittering career. Her achievements far outweighed anything else, for a while, but like everything, with time the success became a little bitter.

'_I think you're a little bit in love with her.'_

'_I'm not your girlfriend.'_

The last few days turned over in her mind, repeating itself until she could barely hear her own thoughts any longer. Lisbon knew that her rant at Jane had been unprofessional, whether she was his girlfriend or not, the CBI was neither the time nor the place for her to bring up such a subject.

'_Love you, Teresa.'_

But life was never as simple as it seemed, her world had become a tangled web of deception. Jane's actions no longer made any sense, the things he said could have been real or they could have been fabricated in the same way he seemed to fabricate his feelings for Lorelei Martins. Only, she didn't think it was a complete lie. She'd seen the way that he looked at her, heard how they talked so freely between themselves. Lorelei was the first person that Jane had slept with since his late wife; she didn't blame him if he did have feelings for her.

Except that she was Red John's girl.

Time had failed to heal his wounds, to dissipate his desire for revenge. If anything, time had only caused it to all spiral more out of control. Jane was losing track of himself, Lisbon was losing track of him and she did her very best to keep him close by. Things had taken a turn and she had no idea how to turn it back.

'Jane, I need to speak to you,' she said, standing in the doorway of the bullpen. He raised his head from the couch, furrowed his brow, then followed her into her office. She didn't even know what she was going to say, only that she needed to spend some time alone with Jane. He was lost in a sea of long term grief and a need for vengeance, she worried about him on a daily basis and the recent events had only caused more stress.

'What is it, Lisbon?' he perched on the edge of her couch, his eyes sullen with the lack of sleep and the strain of a difficult week.

'Lorelei,' she began, but he cut her off, shaking his head incessantly.

'There's nothing to discuss, Lisbon, I'm fine.'

'Bertram wants you to take a break, _I_ think he's right.'

He pursed his lips tightly, the ever so slight sound of his teeth gritting together. Lisbon knew the line she was blurring. Bertram had warned her that if she made the same mistake she'd made a few weeks before, then her job would be over. She didn't know whether the threat of termination scared her, or excited her. Jane's absence in her life of late had only made her realise how much she needed him there, keeping her happy, allowing her the space to be something more than an average cop.

That didn't mean she didn't worry about him though.

'I'm fine,' he repeated, standing up.

'Then it's an order. You will take the next couple of days off, go watch a movie or learn to skate, I don't care. But don't come back until you've taken some time.'

'Lisbon,' he whispered, his voice trailing off.

'I'll see you on Thursday.'

The door closed abruptly and Jane's footsteps echoed across the floor, fading as he got further from the office. Lisbon returned to her case files though she couldn't concentrate on the mundane task of paperwork and notes. Her mind had left with Jane and there was little she could do to bring it back.

She took some personal time. The latest case they'd been working on was over; Cho had been tasked with finishing up as much of the paperwork as possible. He'd been eyeing up a promotion for some time, had even been given her position for a brief period when LaRoche joined the team. He was more than ready to handle the demands of the position which made it that little bit easier going home early.

x

A bubble bath, Chinese take-out and a glass of wine settled her overactive mind quickly and before Lisbon knew it, she had fallen asleep on the couch.

Her phone rang out, piercing her vague dreams. Lisbon tossed around for a few moments, until she realised the reality of her cell phone buzzing loudly on the coffee table. She rubbed her eyes and reached for the handset, barely glancing at the silly photograph of Jane on her screen.

'You put a personalised picture on my cell?' she asked, without even greeting him. Instead of the Jane-like comment she expected in return, a heavy breathing filled the void. 'Jane?'

'Lisbon,' he whispered, his voice fragile. She frowned and listened carefully, waiting for him to say something more. 'I need you.'

Lisbon's instincts were enough for her to hang up the phone, get into her car and drive halfway across town to Jane's motel room. There was a reason she'd only had one glass of wine and though she usually wouldn't have driven having had any, it seemed imperative that she follow Jane's request.

'Lis, s, bon,' said Jane upon opening the door, a grin spread across his face and his eyes lingering upon her chest for a moment longer than she'd ever expected. Lisbon pushed him back into the motel room and closed the door behind them.

'You're drunk.'

'You're sexy.'

Before Lisbon could say something in response, his lips landed against her own. She froze, shocked by his actions and the desire he emitted. She thought about it carefully, for a brief moment, until she couldn't help but follow his lead. His lips guided hers and she lifted her arms around his neck, bringing him closer to deepen the kiss.

'No,' she snapped, pushing him hard against the chest. This couldn't be happening. He leant back in, but she couldn't allow it to continue. He was persistent, a quality that in many ways would be endearing. Had he not drank a whole bottle of wine and thrown himself at her the moment he'd opened the door. He thrust his tongue into her mouth before she slapped him hard across the cheek.

'Ow!'

'I asked you to take a break, Jane, not throw yourself at me.'

He rubbed his cheek, looking anything but apologetic, his eyes semi-closed as he walked back towards the bed. Lisbon watched him stumble onto the pulled back sheets where he mumbled into the cotton.

'Jane?'

'Goodnight, my angry little princess.'

The situation was worse than she'd expected it to be. Lorelei had really thrown him off course, the thought that they were about to apprehend Red John had spread across the team. They'd all hoped it was their lucky break, only for it to be cruelly snatched away by the FBI. That didn't mean he had any right to treat her in such a way, only, life wasn't so black and white. Lisbon's hand moved to her lips and she closed her eyes as the unwanted memory of his mouth pressed against hers filled her mind. She couldn't leave him now, not when he needed her so much.

So she sat down in a chair and tried to stay awake. She watched Jane sleeping, his back rising and falling with every breath, until her head lolled against her chest and sleep stole her away.

She woke early to find Jane's bed empty, the shower running in the bathroom as she stretched and yawned. A night in a chair did nothing for her posture and she knew she'd regret it later that day. Eventually the shower stopped and not long after, Jane returned to the room. Lisbon had barely moved from her seat, except to check her cell phone.

'Good Morning,' said Jane, his voice groggy as he rubbed his hair with a towel. Lisbon turned her gaze to the floor, the thought of seeing Jane's torso shouldn't have bothered her, but after the events of the night before, she didn't want to overstep the mark any more than she already had.

'Is it?' she asked, throwing her cell phone into her purse and standing up. 'I have to go home and shower before I go to the office.'

'I'll see you later then.' Lisbon glared at him as he smiled. 'Or not.'

'You promised you'd take some time off,' she reminded him, slipping out of the motel room without so much as a farewell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

A case came in at ten-thirty. Lisbon drove herself and Van Pelt up to Yuba City whilst Rigsby and Cho followed in a separate car. The lack of sleep did nothing to aid her mood, nor did the three cups of coffee she'd managed to drink. Nothing would stop her doing her job, even if she barely listened to a word that Van Pelt said.

'Boss?'

Lisbon glanced across to the passenger seat where Van Pelt stared at her with downturned eyes; that look of sympathy and sorrow that her face held when things weren't going so well.

'Sorry, Grace,' said Lisbon, clutching tighter to the steering wheel.

Before too long they pulled up outside Planned Parenthood, the location of a stabbing. Van Pelt took out her notebook before they'd even reached the door and started to write things down.

'Agent Lisbon, this is Agent Van Pelt,' Lisbon said, shaking hands with the local police officer waiting for them in the entrance. 'What have we got?'

'A young man in his twenties.' The police officer walked them through the building to the scene of the crime. 'Kieran Palms. We're not really sure why he was here, but the receptionist said he turned up a short time ago looking agitated. He lives with his mother over the river in Marysville.'

'Any witnesses to the actual murder?'

'We're not sure. Doctor Michelle Stone was working in the room, she had appointments booked all day.' The officer flipped through his own notepad. 'Doctor Stone was with Helena Briggs at the time of Palms' death.'

'Where are they now?'

'Missing. Tanya Goodwin, the receptionist, heard a scream around ten. She went to check on Doctor Stone, the window was wide open and Kieran Palms was on the floor, a letter opener in his gut.'

'Thank you, we'll take it from here,' said Lisbon as she entered the consulting room.

The man's body was flat on his back, his arms out at his sides and his light coloured shirt was stained with blood.

'Think he's connected to Helena Briggs?' said Van Pelt, lifting the edge of his shirt away from his elbow with a pen. 'No sign of track marks, but he smells of marijuana.'

'The drug use accounts for his arriving here agitated.' Lisbon stood up and moved across the room to the window. 'Either Helena or Doctor Stone are the connection here, the only question is, where did they go? And why?'

The window ledge was covered in dirt, except for a few markings where a foot had brushed against it. Lisbon checked it for a second time before passing on the information for any prints to be lifted from the ledge.

'I've seen enough,' said Lisbon, heading for the door. 'Van Pelt.'

Van Pelt followed like a lost puppy, ever the faithful subordinate. Lisbon thanked her silently for her compliance, she wasn't in the mood for a difficult day and the case was trying enough. She tried to keep her focus on the job at hand and not on Jane, who she imagined was probably sat in the office trying to get information on the latest case.

'You stay here; find out if the officer first on scene has any more information. When Cho and Rigsby arrive I want them to canvas the area, find out if anyone saw anybody matching Doctor Stone or Helena Briggs' description. There's a couple of stores around here, someone there had to have seen something.'

'Yes, Boss.'

'I'm going to go speak to the receptionist.'

When Lisbon reached the waiting area, the last person she expected to see standing in the centre of the room was Jane. She resisted the urge to shout at him in front of a witness and instead focused her attention on the woman she assumed to be Tanya Goodwin who was looking through a pile of papers.

'What's going on?' Lisbon asked Jane.

'Ms Goodwin is trying to find the patient list for today; she said there should be a printed copy.'

'I could have sworn it was in this file,' Tanya said, before moving across to the computer. 'I'll print it again.'

'Anything useful?'

Jane shook his head and watched as Tanya opened and closed several files on the computer. Lisbon cursed under her breath and checked the time. She didn't care to waste another moment on such an incompetent computer user when the case was so fresh.

'As soon as you're done with Ms Goodwin, you go home,' said Lisbon, glaring at Jane until she was sure he had taken on board her request. 'I'm going to go speak to the Kieran Palms' family.'

'Want me to come?'

'What did I just say? You shouldn't have even come here in the first place.'

x

The drive across the river and Jane's recent appearance brought Lisbon enough solitude to push Jane back into the forefront of her mind. She pulled over by a park and turned off the engine. The last thing she'd wanted was for Jane to make her job even harder than he usually did; her offer of friendship was meant platonically and his desire to take advantage of that only made her angrier. Her fingers rested on her lips again with the memory of his kiss.

To eradicate Jane from her mind, at least until she'd spoken with the victim's family, Lisbon took a brisk walk across the park, passing dog walkers and a group of teenagers hanging around. She mostly ignored the hubbub of passers-by, opting instead for a stroll along the river bank. It reminded her of Chicago and the lake side which she often frequented; a small harbour up the coast from where they lived. She went there a lot when her brothers were driving her crazy, more so after her father's death.

Lisbon closed her eyes and took a deep breath, the sound of the river and the smell of the water being thrown into the wind was enough to settle her worries.

The brief interview with Kieran Palms' mother was difficult, the poor woman was heartbroken and with no one but an elderly neighbour for support she struggled to answer any questions. When Lisbon left her home the first thing she did was try to call Jane again but his phone was turned off. Her mind had already drifted back to the night before, to the things she knew were irrelevant at this particular moment in time.

'Cho?' Lisbon rested her cell phone against her ear. 'I'm going to take some personal time, catch me up on the case in the morning. And make sure Jane goes home.'

x

Her usual haunt was deserted. An average Tuesday night left Lisbon sitting alone in her favourite bar. Sometimes she visited more often than she would have liked and other times she went only to keep herself sane. Drinking regularly was a habit she didn't really want to take up, but the occasional beverage kept her running on normal.

The first few months of visiting had caused some problems; the regular male visitors didn't take too kindly to her presence. She was a woman after all _and_ she was a cop. It didn't take long for them to understand that she was as masculine as any male when she wanted to be. Billy Joel Russell hadn't taken too kindly to being pinned against the dart board but Lisbon soon set him in his place.

She greeted the regulars as she usual did and perched herself on a stool at the far end of the bar.

'Usual?' she nodded and within minutes a Scotch on the rocks was placed in front of her.

'Hey Lissy.'

Lisbon rolled her eyes at a large man with grey stubble; he sat beside her with a sly smile. His breath smelt strongly of stale beer and cigarettes.

'How many times do I have to tell you to call me Lisbon?' she said. 'Danny, get Merv another beer.'

'Thanks,' he nodded his appreciation. 'I got a poker game tomorrow night if you fancy joining.'

'Maybe.'

'My friend Ian'll be there, he moved back to the city a few days ago.' Merv let out a bellowing chuckle. 'I think you and him would really hit it off.'

'He here now?'

'He's right over there,' said Merv, holding his hand out across the room. 'Six foot four and full of muscle. Dunno why he hangs around with the likes of me. He's a lawyer, proper smart like.'

'A lawyer?'

'And since you're in law enforcement, I thought you'd be a perfect match.'

Lisbon laughed and sipped her drink; she tossed a ten dollar bill across the bar and forced a smile onto her face.

'Why don't you send him over here then?' she said, glancing across at his friend. 'See if he can persuade me to join your game.'

Merv took his beer and returned to his friends. A minute later and Ian was sat beside her telling her all about his job. Hearing about work in her personal time only sought to annoy Lisbon, but the company was pleasant and he was fairly attractive.

'I don't want to talk about shop,' she said, smiling. 'Tell me about you.'

'There's not much to tell, I was born in Chicago.'

'I thought I could hear an accent!'

He grinned. 'You're from back East too?'

'I lived right outside of the city,' said Lisbon. 'Evanston.'

'Lincolnwood!'

'You're from Lincolnwood?'

'Born and bred,' he announced proudly then turned to the barman. 'Hey, can I get another beer and whatever the lady's having.'

'You won't find many ladies round here,' the barman said, winking at Lisbon.

They sat and talked like old friends about places they'd both visited. Lisbon barely noticed the time pass by until she finally glanced at her watch and noticed how late it had gotten.

'I can't believe you're from Lincolnwood,' she said, finishing off a glass of cola. 'My high school boyfriend worked at the Aquatics Centre.'

'I used to swim!' he laughed, shaking his head. 'Such a small world.'

'Did you know Franklin and Jones?'

'Franklin was my coach, you knew him?'

Lisbon shrugged. 'I'd say hi to him when I went to see Greg.'

The barman was looking about ready to kick everyone out and Lisbon took her cue. She slipped her jacket back on and dropped a twenty down on the counter. Ian stood up beside her, his eyes lingering on her for a moment longer than was usually acceptable, but they'd had a good night and Lisbon relished in a rare bit of attention.

'Hey, I know we've just met but what do you say we head back to mine?'

Lisbon spent longer than usual retrieving her purse from the floor to give herself time to think, before nodding. He smiled in return and slipped an arm around her shoulder before leading her out to the parking lot.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

When Lisbon woke up in a bed that was anything but familiar with it took her a moment to remember what she'd done the night before, a smile crept onto her lips as she rolled over. Ian was still asleep beside her, thankfully. She slipped out from under the comforter and into her clothes. With the briefest of kisses and a scribbled message, Lisbon left him sleeping and made her way home to change before work. She made a note not to go back to the bar for a while.

Arriving at the office, Lisbon was unimpressed to find Jane lying on his sofa with his hands tucked behind his head. She cursed under her breath and took solitude in her office where she watched him through the gap in her blinds. Cho informed her that the Kieran Palms case was still in a rudimentary state, something which frustrated Lisbon to no end. She didn't expect much to have been done in a day, but usually they gained at least a couple of leads more than they currently had.

'Take Rigsby back to Yuba City,' said Lisbon. 'Speak to Miss Briggs' family; see what you can find out about her. She had to have a reason for being at the clinic, she might not have disclosed anything to a family member so find out if she had a close girlfriend she might have confided in.'

'Yes, Boss,' said Cho, standing up.

'And take Jane with you, if he's going to hang around he can at least make himself useful.'

x

When they'd returned from Yuba City a few hours later, Cho knocked at her office door with a sullen look on his face. Lisbon took a deep breath before motioning for him to enter.

'Any leads?' she said.

'Best friend seems to think that Helena might be pregnant, Van Pelt's looking into Doctor Stone's financial background. She's trying to get into her email account but with the nature of the job it's all encrypted.'

'Good work, now tell me what's wrong?'

'It's Jane,' he said, to which alarm bells started ringing.

'What's he done now?' Lisbon asked and prepared for a battle with Bertram over her consultant's position.

'Nothing,' said Cho, his stoicism giving nothing away.

'Nothing?'

'No, he sat in the SUV in silence and when we questioned Helena Briggs' family and friends he said nothing. He didn't even smile when Rigsby tripped over and fell headfirst into a bush.'

Lisbon frowned, her eyebrows raised as she listened carefully to Cho's account of the day. If she'd been given a dollar for the amount of times she'd had to deal with Jane's insubordination she'd have been able to retire comfortable. Dealing with Jane's lack of disobedience was an alien concept that she couldn't quite grasp.

'Jane,' she said, walking across the bullpen with a stern expression on her face. She wanted Jane to know that she meant business, whether he saw through it or not.

He opened his eyes and waited for her to continue, but the lack of expression in his eyes only sought to worry her further.

'My office,' she informed him and he followed her without protest, something else which worried her.

Jane sat down on the couch in her office in silence. For a moment she didn't quite know what to do with him, or where to begin. He usually guided her into the reproach in some way or another, his silence stumped her.

'You must take time off work, Jane,' she informed him. 'I can't have you at work if you're not going to do anything. It's hard enough when you're causing trouble, but when you're silent and unresponsive, that's even worse. That's not you and something is wrong.'

'I'm fine,' he said, but his words failed to convince her. She knew as well as he did that he wasn't okay. The situation with Lorelei Martins was only causing him heartache which worried Lisbon further.

'No, you're not. I don't want to see you back here for two days. That includes sleeping on the couch and hiding out in the attic. Understand?'

Jane shrugged but that wasn't a response she was willing to accept and she stared at him until he spoke. 'I understand, Lisbon.'

x

After the previous night out, Lisbon opted for another quiet night in in front of the television. She curled up on the couch with little more than a romantic comedy to keep her occupied. She relished in the relative peace after an afternoon of worrying about Jane.

Unfortunately her worry was no further quelled when he turned up at her townhouse in the middle of the evening with a bottle of wine and a bag of Hershey's kisses. He looked like he was finally ready to talk and yet, despite having offered him a hand of friendship, Lisbon wasn't sure she could give him what he wanted. Their friendship had always had such a fine line that they overstepped and broke on a regular basis. Lisbon tried to deny it, but the truth was too hard to escape. She liked to believe that she always behaved with professionalism but where Jane was concerned; things often didn't work out as perfectly as she would have liked.

Why else would she have punched someone for him? Vouched for him? Risked her career time and time again, simply to save his neck?

'I hear there's an Audrey Hepburn marathon on.' Jane smiled and handed her the chocolate.

He knew her so well, her vices were small but when dealt with effectively, they could render her helpless. The bottle of wine gave him entrance, the chocolate kept him there longer to share the sweet kisses that she swore she wouldn't eat too many of and the movies, well, they were an excuse to spend time together.

'You can stay for _one_ movie,' she said, stepping aside as he walked into her home.

He stayed for three. Maybe more, but Lisbon fell asleep on his shoulder, something which she didn't even realise until she'd woken up the next morning with his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. She didn't mind, really, except that she didn't want him to take things the wrong way. They were friends, colleagues and that was all they could ever be.

Lisbon left for work before Jane had even stirred. She had work to do, a case to attend to and she'd already lost precious hours of sleep by watching Breakfast at Tiffany's _and_ My Fair Lady. She supped on a flask of coffee, black, twice as strong in the hope it would keep her awake. She had to meet Rigsby in Marysville at nine and despite waking up with very little time to spare, she was adamant she wouldn't be late.

'Morning, Boss,' said Rigsby as he greeted her with a fresh cup of coffee and a bear claw. Lisbon accepted them graciously, eating the pastry as Rigsby explained recent developments. 'Doctor Stone is still missing, as is Helena Briggs. But when I spoke to Helena's father last night, he was very worried. Helena and our victim were in a relationship, they've only been together for a couple of months.'

'Let's see if we can subpoena her medical files, they'll confirm if she was pregnant. In the meantime, let's go back to Kieran Palms' mother's house to see what she knows about the relationship.'

x

'Welcome back,' said Rigsby on his way out of the door. Jane entered the bullpen, Lisbon watched from her office doorway as he smiled faintly and took up his usual residence on the couch. The solitude of the office appeared to appeal to him. Only Van Pelt sat at her computer busy researching the case.

The phone startled Lisbon as it rang shrilly across her office; Jane stirred a little then settled quickly. She picked up the receiver and listened to the caller. The colour slipped from her face very quickly and when she'd hung up the phone, Lisbon felt a little unwell.

'Jane, Van Pelt,' she announced, walking into the bullpen. 'We have another case.'

'Shouldn't I stay here and man the phones?' asked Van Pelt, unsure of Lisbon's direction. Jane hadn't even moved.

'No, I need you out in the field. It's Red John.'

That brief name shocked the life into Jane as he sprang from the couch, his eyes wide and his hair tussled up at the back. Lisbon was concerned, naturally, he'd been there for less than ten minutes and he already looked dishevelled.

'Be in the car in two,' she announced, dialling Cho's number on her cell phone and heading towards the elevator.

x

They pulled up to a small apartment block in the East of the city. Lisbon moved directly to the officer first at the scene, she hoped it was some sort of hoax or at the very least a misunderstanding. The very thought sent a chill through her bones, even more so when she realised where they were.

'My apartment is one floor up,' said Van Pelt, an unsettled shake in her voice.

Lisbon walked through the open apartment door, the stench of blood hitting her senses very quickly. Her knees attempted to buckle but she maintained her posture and continued on to the living quarters. Directly in front of them, on the furthest wall was a large red smiley face, perfectly drawn in the victim's blood.

'Lorelei,' said Jane. Lisbon turned to him, confused, until she followed his line of sight and her eyes landed on the mutilated body of Lorelei Martins.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

The trail of Lorelei Martins' murder ran cold before they'd even sunk their teeth into the matter, as was expected with a Red John case. The murder had been little more than a message that Red John was still out there and a way of disposing of loose ends, as far as Lisbon was concerned.

'Rigsby and Cho, I'd like you to speak to the tenants on the first floor whilst Jane and I will cover this one.'

They left Van Pelt in her own apartment to contact the landlord whilst Lisbon walked across the hallway towards the first door. No answer. The second door opened a crack when a little old lady appeared.

'Hello, I'm Agent Lisbon,' said Lisbon, holding up her badge. 'This is Patrick Jane, we're with the CBI.'

'Pardon?'

'We're with the CBI,' Lisbon said louder and held the badge closer for the woman to check her identification.

The door closed and they could hear the sound of the latch being removed before it opened fully.

'You're very handsome,' the lady said loudly as she linked her arm with Jane. Lisbon smiled and stood in the entrance hall.

'We work with Grace Van Pelt who lives upstairs, she comes to visit you sometimes,' said Lisbon. 'You're Mrs Larton?'

'Mrs Larton,' said the lady holding out her hand for Jane to shake. They followed her into the lounge where they sat down.

'Mrs Larton,' Jane said, before Lisbon could even begin to speak. 'Do you know the woman who lives in the apartment across the hall?'

'The apartment across the hall?' she asked, looking a little confused. 'Nobody lives in that apartment; it's been empty for months. Nobody ever comes by.'

'There was a young lady who had been staying there,' said Lisbon, pulling a photograph up on her phone and holding it out to the woman. 'Lorelei Martins.'

'Martin? That's a funny name for a girl. I've never seen her before.'

'A woman was found dead, Mrs Larton,' Jane said kneeling in front of the woman. 'You must know something; you live right across the hall.'

Mrs Larton's eyes grew wide as Jane stared at her. Lisbon gave him a moment in the hope that he had a plan that would give them something to work with. But Mrs Larton only looked scared. Lisbon reached a hand out to pull Jane away but he brushed her off and continued firing questions.

'Did you hear any sounds? Did you see any people? She was a young woman, you probably don't go out much, you must have seen something.'

The moment a tear strolled down Mrs Larton's face, Lisbon wrapped her arms around Jane's shoulders and pulled him back.

'Go and wait for me in the hallway,' she said, her voice abrupt and stern. Jane shrugged her off and followed her request as Lisbon sat down beside Mrs Larton. 'I'm really sorry about that, I'm sure you can understand that we're under a lot of pressure.'

Mrs Larton nodded with a wistful smile. 'My Charlie was a police officer, he died on duty.'

'I'm sorry to hear that. I have to go now Mrs Larton,' said Lisbon, standing up and moving towards the door. Mrs Larton followed. 'Thank you for your time.'

Out in the hallway Jane was already knocking on the next door, his fingers rapping hard against the wood. Lisbon marched up to him and pulled him away from the unanswered door.

'You're obviously not ready to be back at work, go home Jane,' said Lisbon, attempting to remain calm and caring despite the tenacity in her voice.

'No,' he replied.

'You will go home right now,' she tried again.

'Or what?'

'Or I'll put a request in to Bertram that you be removed from duty until you seek some help. This kind of behaviour is not acceptable whether it's a Red John case or any other case.'

'Red John is mine,' he snapped, standing firmly in front of her. 'I am not leaving.'

'Fine,' said Lisbon, pulling out her handcuffs. 'Then I'm arresting you for obstructing a police investigation.'

x

Lisbon returned her belongings to her office before going out into the bullpen to speak to Jane. Van Pelt sat at her desk hard at work after having brought Jane back to the office. The moment Lisbon entered the bullpen, Van Pelt made an excuse and left.

'I'm sorry,' she said, moving towards the couch. Regardless of Jane's behaviour, Lisbon knew that it had been her own fault for allowing him out on the case with his current state of mind.

Jane opened an eye as Lisbon stood in front of his couch. He closed it again promptly and for a moment she thought he was ignoring her. About to argue his childishness, Lisbon sighed as Jane interrupted her.

'For what?' he said, opening his eyes again. 'You're right.'

'I'm sorry, what did you say?'

The shock of his words left Lisbon taken aback. Jane never apologised and he certainly never admitted his wrongdoings. Despite her own responsibility in his actions, she still had to accept that Jane was and always would be a law unto himself. She'd tried time and time again to control him and had failed every time. Still, she felt guilty for not having done more to help him.

'I said, you're right,' replied Jane.

Lisbon raised an eyebrow and rested her hands on her hips. 'That's a new one.'

'Sometimes I do make mistakes, Lisbon.'

'Yes, but you hardly ever admit to them.'

'True.'

Sitting down beside him, Lisbon let out a sigh. The week had been particularly stressful and Jane's inability to be a respectful human being when he was feeling the strain often left her more tired than she would have liked.

'You look like you could use an early night,' said Jane, leaning back against the couch.

'I'm fine,' she muttered, smiling at him. He was right; of course he was right, he was Jane.

Jane's way of reading people didn't mean that Lisbon had to lie down and give in though, she was stubborn. A trait she'd gotten from her father a long time ago. If she could have changed it, she didn't think she would have. It got her to where she was today; it gave her a career that she excelled at. Maybe she wasn't entirely happy with the direction her life had taken but that didn't mean she wasn't grateful for what she did have.

'You should take a break,' said Jane, slipping down on the sofa until he was closer to Lisbon. She smiled and listened as he told her stories of places he'd visited with his late wife. Sometimes she longed to see the places that others had seen, then she remembered the pressures she was under at work and the idea usually slipped away.

'I have always wanted to visit China,' she said, sighing.

'China,' repeated Jane.

Lisbon turned to face him. He was handsome; she'd always recognised that feature of her consultant. He alluded something special; an air of mystery which she imagined would appeal to many people. She pictured him travelling the world with his wife by his side, jet setters, joining the mile high club and celebrating their marriage in many different languages.

'You've been to Paris?'

'My fifth wedding anniversary,' he muttered, a smile spread to his eyes before sadness overtook that moment of joy.

'How was it?'

'Romantic, very romantic.'

They sat in silence for a while, Lisbon watched as Jane stared around the room. It wasn't until he turned back to her, a smirk shining on his face that she realised that something was happening. The what of the situation eluded her, he was charming which was a trait she'd seen many times. But there was something more, a vulnerability that she didn't see very often.

'I,' she whispered, shaking her head as she pulled herself out of the situation and away from the couch. 'I should go home.'

x

A gentle tapping roused Lisbon from a daydream, the television continued to play in the background and though she'd been staring at the screen, she couldn't remember a single thing about the show that was currently playing. She rubbed her eyes and traipsed across the living room, she didn't know what time it was but the gentle tapping had grown into a louder, more prominent knock.

'Jane?' she said, surprised at his presence on her doorstep for the second time in a week. She stepped to one side, barely questioning his appearance as she allowed him entrance to her home. 'What…?'

'I needed to see you,' he muttered, wrapping his hands tightly around her cheeks and neck before pressing his lips hard against her own. She stumbled back a foot in shock at his actions, then she responded in the only way she felt able to, deepening the kiss.

'We can't,' she said, in between the soft, lingering kisses. 'Work.'

'Screw work,' said Jane, sliding a hand up alongside her waist, skirting around the edge of her shirt until his cold fingers explored Lisbon's warm skin. She winced at his touch until their temperatures levelled out.

'I,' she began but the words disappeared into another kiss. Jane's mouth focused entirely on her own. They stood in the middle of her living room, attached at the mouth as Jane's fingers continued to explore her torso. Lisbon rested her hands onto his chest, closing her eyes as she enjoyed each and every silent moment between them.

They slowly moved away from the living room, Jane's body pushed her back towards the stairs. Though her mind was telling her that the brief disruption was a good time to put a stop to the madness, Lisbon's heart overruled her mind. She couldn't think of anything but the passion bubbling up inside, a desperate urge to fulfil some unresolved emotion. She pressed a hand down on the door handle and with one swift push against the door, they stumbled onto the carpet at the foot of her bed.

Lisbon laughed, a throbbing pain hitting her lower back until she removed the stray shoe from beneath her. Jane smirked then captured her lips once more, removing her shirt as he dragged her from their previous relationship status into something new, something which she needed little encouragement for. Passion controlled her and for the first time in a long while, she allowed it to happen, regardless of all of the worries that usually sought a place in the conscious of her mind.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

The bed sheets were wrapped tightly around Lisbon's body, twisted and tangled up in her limbs as she stretched and yawned. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had such a good sleep, so deep and dreamless that her body was aching from being so relaxed. Lisbon rolled onto her front and glanced across the bed, her eyebrows furrowed at the empty space beside her. When did Jane leave? She didn't remember any movement or noise and she certainly didn't hear him wishing her farewell either.

The whole situation appeared to be typical Jane; of course he was going to leave her in her bed. It wasn't like the night before was unexpected, though they had waited several years to finally reach this point.

Jane had only slept with two other women his whole life; the wife he buried nine years ago and the woman who tried to pull him into a serial killer's dangerous world. They were both dead. The rarity of the act alone gave Lisbon enough cause for concern.

She wished that Jane's problems were the only cause for concern, but it was new for her too. She'd slept with countless men over the course of her adult life. Most of which had been one-night stands or brief flings, She didn't want to pick up men in bars or fall into bed with an ex-colleague who came to visit her, these things just happened. She had needs, desires like any other man or woman in the world. Her Catholic upbringing mattered to her in many ways, but sex before marriage was something she had no time for.

Why Jane had left her in her bed mattered even less, to an extent. What bothered her more was the way she felt about it. There had been an underlying pattern of emotions slowly building up over the course of the last decade that she'd barely acknowledged it.

The root of the problem was not sleeping with a man, whether he was Patrick Jane or a stranger. The problem was that she didn't know if she could commit the time and attention needed to such a relationship. And perhaps Jane's departure meant that he felt the very same way.

Regardless of this, Lisbon felt like an emotional wreck. The night had swung out of left field, the moment at the office was barely an indication of what could happen next and she had purposefully avoided it at all costs.

So why did she feel so emotional? Jane's absence stabbed her in the heart. The number of times she'd woken up to find the bed empty when previously it had been filled was more than she could count on her fingers. It was never quite as many as the number of times she'd vacated a bed long before the man she'd slept with had even woken.

She was an old pro at the disappointments that came with an unexpected night with a man. But this time, with Patrick Jane as her partner, it made the situation unique. The last time she felt such pain was the night that she left Greg on the eve of their wedding. Her mistake had been massive, something which she now knew he had never gotten over.

The sheer thought of never seeing Jane again only reminded her of what she'd put Greg through. Feeling it only made the reality of her past so much worse.

x

The walk from the car to the office became a juggling act as Lisbon attempted to keep hold of her coffee, place her car keys back into her purse and retrieve her ringing cell phone. She caught the answer button just in time and greeted the caller with a tone she specifically saved for her bad days.

'Ian, what are you...I mean, I thought I wasn't going to hear from you.'

'And give up on a chance to see a woman as beautiful and as smart as you again?'

Lisbon groaned, then coughed to disguise her disapproval. He'd behaved very differently the night they slept together; she'd been attracted to his personality as well as his dashing looks. She had no burning desire to see him again.

'I'm joking,' he laughed and Lisbon felt a little uncomfortable as he explained his hopes to see her again. Jokes or not, he'd taken their night together a step in the wrong direction. Besides, she'd already slept with someone else. The mess she'd created was a product of her own making, even so, that didn't make it any easier to know what to do about it.

'Can I get back to you on that?' she asked, balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder as she pressed the elevator button. 'I'm a little busy at work today.'

'No problem beautiful, give me a call, any time.'

Beautiful? She'd known the man for a few hours and he was already using terms of endearment. She'd made the right decision avoiding any contact with him and she knew that no amount of time would change her mind.

'Okay, bye.'

The office was already buzzing with activity when Lisbon entered, a rare occurrence as she was usually the first one there. With Jane's sudden departure from her bed in the middle of the night, the last place she expected to find him was lying on his couch staring up at the ceiling.

She got a brief update from Cho on the Red John and Palms cases before checking her email and phone messages. Work took priority, despite the fact she longed to drag Jane off of his couch for a stern talking to.

Finally, as if on cue, Jane appeared at her office door with a slight smile on his face. He went to close the door, but Lisbon was already on her feet.

'Come with me,' she demanded, half dragging him up to the attic. He followed like a lost puppy until the door had been securely closed. Then he lunged at her, his mouth quickly finding hers.

'No,' Lisbon shouted, pressing her hands against his chest and pushing him back with as much force as she deemed necessary. 'We are in a workplace.

'So?'

'So, you left me in my bed.'

'That's what this is about?' he asked, barely fazed by the concept. Lisbon scowled and slapped him hard across the cheek.

'That's what this is about?' she echoed, her eyes wide with anger and frustration. She wanted to do more than slap him, but that level of violence was already too much for a boss and her subordinate. 'You left me, you just upped and left me without so much as a fucking word.'

'I'm sorry about that, Lisbon,' said Jane, a brief shrug in his shoulders.

'Yeah, right,' she rolled her eyes and slammed the door of the attic room behind her before shouting a final word of instruction. 'I don't want to see you for the rest of the day.'

x

They spent the day following up various leads in the Palms case and a couple of probable dead ends in Lorelei Martins' murder. Lisbon sat behind her desk for the rest of it staring at paperwork. Though she attempted to remain focused, Jane's presence in the building rattled her. She knew he was probably still up there in the attic. If she'd had her way, she'd have sent him home.

By late evening, Rigsby, Cho and Van Pelt had left and Lisbon had hoped that Jane had followed them, much to her disappointment as he turned up in the threshold of her office.

'I thought I told you I didn't want,' Lisbon began, but Jane cut her off.

Lisbon tried to be mad, but there was something in the way he looked at her, with that cautious and apologetic smile that made her wish their roles at the CBI didn't impact on personal relationships.

'You said the rest of the day,' he replied, sitting down on her couch. 'The day's over.'

'I guess so.'

Lisbon returned her attention to the paperwork on her desk, the amount created by cases always left her feeling a little stressed, particularly when they had a couple of cases running alongside each other. The next case had usually come through before she even had chance to finish up, leaving her with little choice but to multi-task.

'I didn't mean to hurt you,' said Jane.

His words surprised Lisbon; she looked up at him, his soft features curved into a smile. Despite the difficulties that Jane brought to the team, Lisbon couldn't help but feel the truth in his words. He was genuinely sorry.

'Then why did you leave?' she asked, resting her pen on top of the files and sitting back in her chair, her arms folded across her chest. Contrary to her emotions accepting Jane's almost-apology, she couldn't quite bring her mind up to speed.

'I don't know.'

'You don't know?'

'No.'

Lisbon let out a breath, tidied up her belongings and slung her purse over her shoulder. Whether her anger dissipated or not, what mattered most was that Jane couldn't quite be honest with her. It was hard enough trying to be honest with herself, without having to maintain Jane's honesty as well. There was a reason co-workers weren't allowed to date and she imagined the mess they were now in was probably a very valid reason alone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Returning from lunch, Lisbon was accosted by Van Pelt in the hallway. Her eagerness was always over the top, if a little endearing. After all of the years they'd worked together, she was growing into a fine agent and that was something she gave herself some credit for. She was the one person who took a chance on a relatively unknown student at the academy; most people would have gone for the person with the most charisma or the most passion for solving murders specifically. Lisbon had found Van Pelt's coyness as an opportunity to mould her into a confident agent with the tools she needed to progress onto bigger and brighter things. Her technological abilities were also an appeal, one that Lisbon didn't doubt for a second would be advantageous to her previously technologically inept team. Rigsby and Cho attempted to understand the finer details but they were all from a generation who didn't grow up around computers like Van Pelt.

'What is it Grace?'

'I think I've made a break on the Palms' case. Doctor Stone's hard drive was difficult to get into but I finally cracked her password. I was able to access her email account and it turns out Tanya Goodwin was fired two weeks ago. I found a copy of her dismissal letter along with emails back and forth from a recruitment agency.'

'She doesn't even work there?'

Van Pelt shook her head and handed over the case file. Lisbon glanced down at a couple of sheets of paper with copious amounts of information on with a few select pieces of text highlighted. As they walked into the bullpen, Lisbon ignored the majority of the file, choosing instead to listen to a summary of the rest of the information Van Pelt had provided.

'A replacement was in the process of being hired and they'd employed a temp named Larissa Samuels. I double checked the phone records and she made a call to Doctor Stone's office at approximately nine am on the day of the murder. I called her up this morning and she's been down with the flu, when she got through to Doctor Stone's office a woman answered in a hushed voice. She didn't think anything of it at the time, but I think it could have been Tanya.'

'Have you done a,' Lisbon began, but Van Pelt cut her off.

'Background check? She's facing criminal charges for harassment of a patient. I spoke to the local PD; they're still attempting to gather enough evidence to formally charge her.'

'Don't tell me, the patient is Helena Briggs?'

'Yes. Helena Briggs received several hoax calls and a number of threatening emails over the space of a week since seeking Doctor Stone's help.'

Van Pelt sat down at her desk and pulled up a website on her computer. Lisbon watched as the page loaded to reveal the smiling face of their suspect.

'Tanya Goodwin is also a member of a church in the area who strongly oppose abortion and the distribution of contraception,' said Van Pelt, scrolling down the page and pointing to a number of distorted statements about human rights.

'And she worked in a family planning clinic because?' said Lisbon, closing the file and resting it on Van Pelt's desk. 'Nice work, Grace. Try and get a hold of someone from the church, but tread carefully, I don't want to cause Goodwin to run or we'll never find out where Helena and Doctor Stone are. When Rigsby and Cho come back from lunch they need to go back to Helena Briggs' family and find out what they know about this woman. Have we got an address for Goodwin?'

Lisbon headed to her office with the usual formula in her mind. She checked off a carefully constructed list of steps they'd taken and added a couple more before she'd even reached her office door.

'I've forwarded you the details,' Van Pelt replied.

'Thank you.'

Retrieving her jacket and phone, Lisbon marched on up to the attic where she knocked hard upon the door to the room Jane chose as his own. She waited impatiently, tapping her foot until she could hear him moving about inside.

'Jane, get up, we've got a suspect in the Palms case.'

Shuffling of feet and the screech of a chair moving died away before the door slid open and Jane looked back at her, his hair dishevelled and his shirt barely buttoned up.

'The receptionist?'

'What is this?' she looked him up and down. 'Get dressed.'

The door closed again and Jane returned a minute later with his waistcoat fastened and his jacket over his arm. Lisbon stood against the wall and watched him in his nonchalance.

'You knew?' she asked, cutting through the silence.

Lisbon marched back towards the staircase cautious that Jane was following close behind.

'She had shifty eyes,' Jane replied.

'Shifty eyes?'

'She looked lost,' he said, continuing to talk as they set foot in the elevator. 'Like someone had come in and moved everything. Someone with her background at the clinic would have it running like a well-oiled bicycle. What did she do?'

'Aside from potentially kidnap a doctor and her patient?' asked Lisbon, frustrated at yet another of Jane's tricks. She marched ahead through the parking garage, her keys in hand. 'Why didn't you tell me you suspected her?'

'Do I have to do all of the work?'

Lisbon stopped beside the state issued SUV and pointed to the passenger door. 'Get in the car, now! I don't have time for your mind games.'

They pulled up outside the residence of Tanya Goodwin sometime later; Jane climbed out of the passenger seat and wandered across the street. Lisbon watched as he stretched his arms up above his head then walked back towards her.

'What are you doing?' she asked.

'What does it look like I'm doing?' he said, shrugging in response.

'Like you're wasting my time and putting our case in jeopardy.'

'You're being ridiculous.'

'I'm being ridiculous?' Lisbon scoffed and set off up the garden path of a small suburban home.

'You're just still pissed because I left you alone.'

Lisbon stopped walking part way up the path and folded her arms across her chest, 'Do you really think this is the time and place to be having this conversation?'

'It's as good a place as any,' he replied, looking around the beautifully landscaped garden. His lips curled into a smile, one which on any given day was sure to make Lisbon smile back. Except today.

'It's not appropriate for us to discuss our personal life.'

'When is appropriate?'

'Not now.' Lisbon turned towards the house and glanced around, searching for any potential clues.

'You can't just pretend nothing happened between us, Teresa.'

She turned back towards Jane, her eyebrows furrowed and her fists tightened. Sometimes he didn't get the hint and more often than not his timing was terrible. Lisbon glared at him but he barely reacted.

'When we're at work you will address me as Agent Lisbon, I am your _boss_.'

'Then I quit.'

'Really?' Lisbon shook her head. 'What are you going to do with your life this time? Fake another breakdown? Sleep with another one of Red John's girls?'

'So this is what this is all about, Lorelei and I?'

'No, this is you taking liberties with our friendship.'

'What friendship?'

'We are done with this conversation,' said Lisbon, marching up to the front door of the house and knocking. 'We have a case to solve. You can come inside and help or you can go and sit in the car. But we're not talking about…hello, Tanya Goodwin?'

The door had opened mid-sentence, Lisbon smiled at the lady she recalled seeing at the crime scene standing on the opposite side of the threshold.

'I'm Agent Teresa Lisbon,' she said, taking a brief glance behind her to where Jane was still stood. 'This is Patrick Jane. We're with the CBI.'

'Oh yes, of course, I remember you from the other day. Can I help you with anything?'

'If we could come inside,' said Lisbon and Tanya stepped aside and motioned for them to pass.

They sat on a small sofa in a perfectly organised room. Any sign of living had been tidied away and the only indication that Tanya had even been in the room at all was the television set to the news. A woman who kept her home so neat would surely have kept her workplace in an equal state. Several pieces of religious paraphernalia decorated the room supporting her religious activities.

'Have you found Doctor Stone or her poor patient?'

'No, we haven't,' said Lisbon, biding her time carefully. 'We'd like to ask you a few more questions, if that's okay.'

'Of course,' said Tanya, crossing her legs. 'I'm not sure what use I'll be though.'

'Because you don't even work at the clinic, do you Ms Goodwin?' asked Jane, not even looking at the woman as he carefully searched the room.

'I've been taking a sabbatical,' she explained. 'My replacement had called in sick and Doctor Stone asked if I'd mind returning temporarily.'

'Except you weren't taking a sabbatical,' said Lisbon, raising her eyebrows in concern. 'Doctor Stone fired you two weeks ago for harassing Helena Briggs.'

'That's simply not true,' Tanya replied, appearing shocked. Lisbon could see right through her attempts to fool them.

Jane stood up and hovered in the doorway, 'Do you have a bathroom I could use?'

'Upstairs on the right hand side,' she said and stood up too. 'If you don't mind, I left some cupcakes in the oven and I really don't have time to bake some more before our church bake sale tomorrow.'

Lisbon smiled as the woman left the room. She listened carefully for any sign of Tanya Goodwin attempting to escape. When none came, Lisbon moved into the hallway and followed the route into the kitchen.

'Ms Goodwin?' Lisbon called out, but the kitchen was empty. She turned back towards the hallway, but Jane had not returned from his search of the Goodwin house. A sense of foreboding made Lisbon wish that she had the power of telepathy as she sent a message up to Jane to hurry his search.

When she turned around, she spotted a door sitting open on the opposite side of the kitchen. Tanya Goodwin's voice was travelling up from the basement. Lisbon edged closer and listened carefully.

'You'll stay here a little while longer and then it'll all be over, don't worry sweet girl, your baby is safe now.'

A whimpering sound filled the silence, then a slap of skin against skin and the crying only grew more intense. Lisbon pulled her Glock out of her holster and took the stairs one at a time. Unluckily, the third step creaked loudly, signalling her presence.

'You shouldn't have come down here, Agent Lisbon,' said Tanya, a gun resting in her own clutches. Lisbon hedged her bets and waited for a sign that the gun opposite was going to be fired.

'Put the gun down, Ms Goodwin, you don't want to make this worse for yourself.'

'Worse? I'm saving lives, Agent Lisbon. If it wasn't for you and your colleagues approving of this, this, debauchery, then maybe I wouldn't need to make things right.'

'Put. The. Gun. Down. Ms Goodwin,' Lisbon repeated.

In a swift movement, Tanya Goodwin clenched her fingers around the trigger as Lisbon fired her own gun. She watched as a couple of bullets landed in the woman's upper torso, knocking her backwards until she stumbled onto the ground. Helena Briggs' screams filled the room. In the same heartbeat, pain spread through Lisbon's leg and she crumbled onto the wooden steps, her weakened state sending her rolling down the remainder of the staircase before she landed on the concrete floor and her eyes fluttered closed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

The room was filled with light when Lisbon awoke and it took a moment to readjust. Her head ached in that way it sometimes did if she slept for too long on a boiling hot summer's day. When she rolled onto her side, pain spread through her thigh and she yelped out.

'It's okay.'

Lisbon jumped at the feel of a hand on her shoulder, she hoped it belonged to the voice but the pounding in her head was knocking her sick - or perhaps it was the pain in her leg - and she couldn't quite make sense of the situation.

'You're okay,' Jane said, his hand moving back to her shoulder and she relaxed into his touch.

'What happened?' she asked, though her throat hurt as a voice she barely recognised croaked out.

'You've been shot, you lost a lot of blood but the doctors think you're going to be okay.'

She managed to force a weak smile in return for Jane's but the lack of strength she felt made her want to cry. Lisbon chewed on her dry lip and closed her eyes again. If he thought she was asleep, maybe he'd go away. If she closed her eyes, maybe she'd fall asleep anyway. She couldn't remember much from the shooting but she could definitely remember what happened before then and she didn't have the energy to fight any more. Nor did she have the energy to pretend that everything was okay when it was anything but.

When Lisbon woke once more, Jane was still sat beside her bed looking a little worse for wear. His hair was a mess of curls atop his head; his shirt was unbuttoned in the same way it had been before they'd gone to Tanya Goodwin's house.

'Did we get her?' said Lisbon.

Jane smiled and stood up, leaning over the bed with an onslaught of attention. 'You got her, she's dead. Unfortunately, so is Doctor Stone, her body was in the basement. Helena Briggs and her unborn child are both safe and well, though I don't think that's something Helena is entirely happy about.'

'I don't remember,' Lisbon whispered, facing away from Jane. Just because she desired some human connection didn't mean that she'd forgiven him.

Their friendship had become so fragile, it had stretched the boundaries of friendship and had definitely crossed over into something more. The last few years had shown signs of a deeper relationship, something which she'd cherished in many ways. What she hadn't realised was how quickly her feelings for Jane had progressed from unknown to blinding obvious. She only hoped it wasn't obvious to those on the outside.

'That's okay, there's time,' said Jane.

'You smell.'

'That's your fault for being unconscious for three days,' said Jane, a bittersweet chuckle escaping as he reached a hand out to her forehead. Lisbon allowed him to rest his fingers against her skin, even closed her eyes as she tried to fight the urge to accept his non-existent apology.

'Three days? You've been here,' she began.

'Every minute,' he interrupted. 'Except the occasional trip to the nurse's lounge for a cup of tea.'

Typical Jane, he couldn't just use the canteen or the coffee machines like everybody else. Lisbon closed her eyes as a wave of sleepiness seeped back through her bones.

'The team…' she whispered.

'They're fine,' said Jane. 'Cho's in charge. He's worse than you, you know?'

'I know. Be nice.'

'When am I not?'

'You know what I mean.'

'I do.'

'You should go home.'

'I can't.'

'Why not?'

'Because I love you.'

'Jane…' said Lisbon, her energy level only dropping further. She wasn't ready for Jane to announce his undying love, whether she'd suspected it or not, her emotional wellbeing was second only to her physical health. Considering her current predicament, her physical health had to take precedent.

'I don't expect you to say it back right now, you're injured and that's the most important thing. That we get you better. I've got the best specialist making sure that you'll be back at work in no time, my treat.'

A lump filled Lisbon's throat and she fought with herself not to cry, the lack of energy matched with the additional energy it took to fight with her emotions made it all the harder. She turned to face him, to show him just how much she couldn't handle him at that moment in time. Instead, he leant down and placed the briefest of kisses upon her lips.

'No,' Lisbon cried. 'Don't.'

'Teresa.'

'Lisbon,' she said sternly as her eyes fluttered closed again.

'Why are you being like this?'

'This doesn't change anything,' said Lisbon, her eyes filling with tears. 'I'm too tired to fight.'

'Then don't fight.'

'Please. Go.'

'I want to stay.'

The first time in a long while she could hear the emotion in his voice, the desperation that she'd not heard him express since hopes of catching Red John. Lisbon could feel the tears falling from her eyes and there was little she could do but give in.

'Fine. Whatever. Go make yourself some tea.'

Another brief kiss, this time on her cheek signalled his departure and Lisbon finally allowed herself to drift back off to sleep.

x

It took another couple of days for Lisbon to have enough energy to sit up in bed and share conversation. Jane only left her room when the doctors or nurses demanded it and during the briefest of visits from the rest of the team. Her dignity vanished with the daily bed baths and the morphine to keep the pain at bay fought her constantly for control over her ability to function.

'I have an update on your condition,' the doctor said as he entered the room during his daily rounds. Jane perked up beside her but Lisbon only pushed him back down.

'Alone,' said Lisbon, staring at him until he left the room. He didn't move from the small window where he watched carefully. She imagined he would probably get the gist of the conversation from his spot outside the door and even though she was less than happy with that, at least she didn't have to deal with him sat beside her.

'The tests we've been doing over the last few days have been to assess your mobility and the severity of the damage. Whilst the injury is still relatively new it's not always easy to tell how much lasting damage there may be. However, I'd like to stress to you, Miss Lisbon, that the damage to the muscle in your thigh is excessive.'

'What does that mean?' said Lisbon, her hands shaking as the doctor's words filled her mind. 'Am I going to be able to walk again?'

'I have faith that with a course of physiotherapy and some time you will be able to walk.'

_With some time._ Lisbon considered his prognosis carefully, what he was saying and what he wasn't saying. She had many questions, each of which more extreme and pointless as the next. There was only one question that she knew she had to ask.

'Will I be able to return to my work?'

He paused, a sign that Lisbon took to be a bad thing. Before he even explained that the damage would most likely cause long term mobility issues, Lisbon's attention had moved elsewhere. To the job that she had loved more than anyone or anything in a long time. For years she'd imagined her life would go in one direction and as each of her goals were met and her success preceded itself, she expected a level of achievement.

Ten years at the CBI, ten whole years of achievements should have been something to be grateful for and in many ways, Lisbon was grateful for every second of it. But there were regrets, also. Red John had continued to slip through her fingers; he still remained a threat to the people of California and specifically to her team. The Bureau were bound to offer her an office job, perhaps a position higher than her current – recent – position as lead agent of the SCU. Naturally, she was thrilled that Cho would finally be given the opportunity to lead his own unit. Van Pelt had reached a stage in her career where she could easily get a position in any number of teams and that made Lisbon prouder than any mother sending their child off to college. Rigsby was perhaps a little too fresh to be second in command, but with Cho as his first, they were bound to make a fantastic team.

But no amount of promotion offers, or reassurance that her team would be okay without her, was going to fix the state of devastation that Lisbon felt.

The Academy warned them from her first day training to be a cop that a life changing – if not fatal – injury could potentially end their career. One false move, one misfired shot, one case too many could be the reason her life would change forever. She'd taken it on board, like anyone else in her class, but the idea that it could be a reality was far from her mind. After all, things like that always happened to someone else. She'd had enough bad luck in life what with her parents dying before she'd even become an adult, she didn't expect (and actively assumed otherwise) to have her career ended prematurely. The chance of promotion to an office position didn't suffice; after all, Lisbon had turned down many opportunities over the last few years for one reason alone; she didn't want to be a paper pusher for those doing the job she loved. She was meant to be the one out in the field and that was where her career had and would end.

She hadn't noticed the tears streaming down her face, or the fact her shoulders shook with the emotional pain of losing something so dear to her, until she felt Jane's arms wrap around her shoulders and she gave in to her anger towards him. She needed someone, anyone, to be there for her and he wasn't a bad choice.

'It'll be okay,' he whispered, his breath warm against her ear. She clung to his shirt and pushed her face into the crook of his neck. 'I'm here, I'll look after you, I promise.'


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes: Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed this story, I may not say it to you all individually, but I do still appreciate it. To the dozens of people who have followed/read the story, thank you also. This is the final chapter and I hope it's a fitting end.**

**Chapter Eight**

Coming to terms with her job prospects post-injury had been easier than Lisbon had expected, once she'd been discharged from hospital and become an outpatient, she'd found peace with her demons. The decision to take early retirement on disability grounds felt right and though she still longed to return to her office, to her team, the painful emotions it struck were considerably easier to manage. The time that passed since hearing her fate was a mixture of happiness at closing yet another case and sadness over the consequences of closing said case.

It took a couple of months to rehabilitate to a suitable state of mobility, something which both frustrated and annoyed her. Lisbon had always been so active, as long as she could remember she'd swam, played softball or frequented a yoga class at the YMCA. Having to take it easy was hard; sitting up in a hospital bed with television and books her only source of entertainment. Eating three meals at set times was a routine she hadn't expected to have back until she'd reach old age.

The occasional visit from Jane, or the rest of the team, made her days brighter. She was even lucky enough to be visited by not one but all three of her brothers throughout her stay in the rehabilitation centre at the hospital.

Over the course of her stay she'd made several plans for her future; she decided to let out her townhouse for the foreseeable future, would appreciate the extra income as she used what savings she had to see the places she had never had time to visit. First stop China, then Vietnam, Bali and finally, a couple of months visiting an old college friend in Australia.

In preparation she'd spent the last week packing up her belongings into boxes; only the necessities would keep her company for the final weeks of her rehabilitation program. She'd always been a woman of very few belongings. As long as she had the cross her mother used to wear, photographs of her family from a time when they were all together and happy and an old Spice Girls LP on her iPod then she didn't need much more. As she tidied away a pile of books she was momentarily distracted by a knock at the door.

'Jane,' she said, opening the door to reveal her – previous – consultant.

'How's the leg?' he asked, as he did every time he saw her these days. Lisbon informed him of her latest progress with the physio and made her way towards the kitchen. 'Let me, all that hobbling around and my tea will have brewed too long.'

Lisbon tapped him playfully on the arm, though she allowed him access to her kitchen and returned to the sofa where she'd been about to tape up another box. She rested her cane – something which made her feel older than her years – against the arm and watched Jane moving around in the next room. He opened and closed cupboards and drawers, which only made Lisbon smile.

'Make mine a tea,' she said and ignored his raised eyebrow in her direction. She'd taken to drinking it when she'd come out of the hospital, caffeine wasn't the healthiest of options and the doctors thought it wise to give up. At least until she'd fully recovered – whatever that meant for someone expected to have mobility problems for the rest of their life.

'Do you even have any coffee left in the house?' Jane asked as he placed her cup down on the table and sat down in the chair opposite.

Lisbon shook her head. 'I asked Grace to throw it out a couple of days ago when she last visited.'

'And you have six different types of tea, what have you done with the real Teresa Lisbon?'

'I need to take care of myself,' she said and sipped on her tea. 'It's surprising how much better I've felt since they forced me to eat regularly and drink nothing but water in the hospital.'

'That had nothing to do with the lack of stressful situations,' said Jane, with a grin. Lisbon smiled back and they sat drinking their tea in a companionable silence.

x

'I thought I'd treat you to dinner,' said Jane, holding out a leaflet after helping her to load a couple of boxes into her spare bedroom.

'You're not going to hold the heavy lifting over me?' she asked.

Jane grinned. 'After everything I've put you through? I think a few hot meals are the least I can do.'

x

Jane cleared the Chinese take-out containers away once they'd finished eating leaving Lisbon sat on the sofa once more. She watched him cleaning their plates and cups, before he made them another cup of tea each. Since he'd arrived earlier that afternoon, Lisbon had barely been allowed to move, something which suited her for the short term. But even with her physiotherapists request that she keep herself as mobile as possible, Lisbon didn't want to spend the rest of the night in the exact same position.

'Hey,' said Jane, returning to her side as quickly as she'd got to her feet. He rested a hand around her waist, which she didn't dispute. 'Don't do that, you should be resting.'

'I'm perfectly capable of standing up, Jane,' she assured him. 'In fact, it's doctor's orders that I don't sit on my butt all day while someone else does all the work.'

'Pish posh, what do doctors know about the human body?'

'Everything?'

'I'd rather you sit down,' said Jane, but Lisbon opted instead for turning on her stereo and dancing slowly across the room. 'Dancing? Really?'

'If you're so worried, you could dance too,' she said, dancing towards him.

'This definitely isn't part of the Lisbon I know.'

'Maybe not the part you see.'

'Of course, the Spice Girls.'

Lisbon stopped moving and sent a glare in his direction but his smile was too persuasive for her to stay mad at him for long. Eventually he wrapped his arms around her waist and she rested her own around his shoulders.

'My doctor said I should dance sometimes, nothing too fast, just fast enough to move my legs for a period of time,' she said, swaying along to Jane's own movement.

'Ah, rehab exercises.'

The song ended and the next one that came on was slower, more emotionally charged. Lisbon stopped moving but Jane was staring into her eyes. The timing of the song brought goose pimples to her arms and Lisbon found herself staring back.

'I like this new – old – but not in years – Lisbon,' said Jane, frowning as he tripped over his words.

'Nice save,' Lisbon said, slipping back into the movement with ease.

'I hear you're officially no longer my boss,' said Jane, his hands moving a little lower down the base of her spine as he lengthened each individual movement.

'So?'

'So…'

He trailed off and the dancing slowed to a stop, Lisbon continued to look into his eyes as Jane's fluttered closed. She could feel the moment heading in the direction before she felt Jane's lips press firmly against her own.

'This doesn't mean I've forgiven you,' Lisbon said as she pulled back briefly before kissing him back. There were moments they still hadn't discussed, conversations they knew were important but it hadn't felt like the right time to return to them. Her health had been an unspoken elephant that sat between everything from before and present day. It had taken weeks for it to grow smaller and smaller until finally it had vanished one day. In reality, Lisbon didn't feel angry any more, nor did she hold any negative feelings towards Jane. However, she did recognise the need to discuss what happened before they could ever move on.

Finally, Jane pulled away from the kiss, his hands cupping her cheeks and his mouth so close that Lisbon wanted nothing more than to pull him back in.

'The things I've done that have hurt you are some of the worst things I've done in my life, and I've done some horrible things,' he said, maintaining the close proximity. 'When I told you that I loved you, Teresa, I meant it. I never told you about the day you got hurt. When I heard gunshots I didn't cower in Tanya Goodwin's bedroom, I ran down those stairs, almost twisted my ankle jumping the final few. I didn't hesitate to get to you as quickly as I could. Even if that meant walking into the room with a murderer pointing a gun at me.'

'You always were a reckless fool,' said Lisbon, rolling her eyes. Though the sentiment mattered more than she could have possibly explained. 'You don't need to do this, Jane, I've forgiven you.'

'Maybe I haven't forgiven myself. I'm sorry that I hurt you.'

'I'm sorry too.'

Words no longer mattered as Lisbon found Jane's lips again and a hunger that she'd supressed after the first night they spent together came back with a vengeance. He scooped her up into his arms, their lips moving from skin to skin as Jane carried her up the stairs. Nothing else mattered in that moment as they explored the feelings they'd fought for so long.

x

By morning, Lisbon's body ached in ways she hadn't expected. The feeling of sleeping in her bed, with Jane wrapped around her, was something she was ready to experience again and again. It didn't matter that he was still dozing beside her, though unusual for the habitual insomniac.

'I love you too,' Lisbon whispered as she placed soft kisses against his cheek. When she finally reached his eyes, she almost jumped at the sight of his pupils staring back at her.

'It's about time.'

'That's not fair,' said Lisbon, hitting his cheek softly. 'You're not supposed to know someone is in love with you until they tell you.'

'Maybe you're not, but that's how I've always known.'

Lisbon rolled over and glanced at the clock, it didn't surprise her that it was barely the crack of dawn. Having worked continuously for a decade she'd grown accustomed to waking up at the same time every day, the exception being when she was in hospital.

'Don't you have a job to go to?'

'That depends on what you mean by job.'

'The CBI…'

'Oh, that. I handed in my notice last month. Sorry I didn't invite you to my leaving party but under the circumstances I knew you'd decline.'

'Wait, what?'

'I thought I'd come with you.'

'Come with me, where?'

'To China, Vietnam, Bali, Australia.'

The idea of having Jane follow her around the world was something that Lisbon would have once disapproved of. He could be annoying, moody, downright difficult and that didn't change with his news of quitting his job. They hadn't caught Red John, something which she'd always expected to happen before he even considered leaving his position with the CBI, so the move was unexpected. Besides, he could always go back once the trip was over.

But he was Patrick Jane. The man that infuriated her so much that she wanted to kiss him, angered her to the point of desired strangulation followed by an even stronger desire to make love to him. The majority of senior agents at the CBI had been confounded by her ability to control him; a few had even asked her advice from time to time on what to do with difficult consultants. The answer wasn't easy because it required a certain level of emotional attachment and desire to understand the human being behind the madman.

'I'll let you come with me on one condition.'

'Done.'

'You don't even want to hear what the condition is?'

'Not really.'

'Then this really isn't going to work.'

'Haven't you learnt anything from me, Teresa? I'll have a cup of tea and a bearclaw on the table in twenty minutes.'

As he climbed out of bed and rushed around her bedroom to find his scattered items of clothing, Lisbon watched his desire to please her. Life wouldn't be the same without her position at the CBI; she'd miss the friendships she'd created with her team, Director Bertram and their games of Poker, she even expected to miss the speed at which her office computer ran on a busy day. But the one person she wouldn't have time to miss was the man she expected to be by her side until her dying day, or the day she killed him, whichever one came first.

_**The End**_


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